Worst Birthday Ever
by Zerrat
Summary: After near two years of crystal stasis, it's Fang's birthday, and she's a little miffed when it looks like Lightning isn't going to show. The soldier promised her! Pre-FLight.


Written for the fang_lightning monthly theme. December – Unexpected Gifts. Fang's drunken dialogue is the most painful thing to write, ever. Slang and bizarre contractions ahoy. ((rolls eyes)) Edit 18 Feb 2013 - edited to add info on sequel on AO3 at the end.

* * *

"_This is ridiculous. Worst birthday ever." _

– Lightning Farron

* * *

Celebrating your birthday in true, massive Gran Pulse style took a fair amount of effort. Even so, Fang couldn't say she was unhappy with the results of Vanille's hard work, as she looked over the packed room while being dragged around by the wrist by said little sister. The banners and ropes of Cocoon-style flashing lights were strung all about the largest communal room that the restored Oerba could boast, and the extra tables Snow had salvaged from Cocoon were nearly straining under the weight of the massive platters of food.

Fang quickly grabbed a handful of fried food on her way past, as her adoptive sister steered her skilfully through the throngs of people that had supposedly gathered here to celebrate _her _birthday. Fang snorted to herself at the thought. She wasn't even sure who half these people _were. _From the looks of things, Vanille and Serah had just invited everyone who Fang had come into contact during this past year of working with the Cocoon survivors, and simply hoped for a decent turnout.

The actual numbers seemed to have exceeded their wildest expectations, because the food was starting to run low and there were _still _people walking in. Well, Fang supposed they'd just come for the free food, because she'd made a name for herself as being difficult to get along with in the best of times.

Fang blinked as she finally noticed Vanille's hand waving in front of her face, prompting her to push the offending hand down with a raised eyebrow.

"There you are! Thought we'd lost you for a minute there!" Vanille chirped with a smile, lacing her fingers behind her back and leaning forwards as she nodded towards a man standing next to her. "Fang, I'm sure you remember Director Trist Mills. You worked with him on the Taejin's Tower Restoration Project."

To be perfectly honest, the man's name and appearance didn't ring a bell, though that might have been because of the few glasses of liquid courage she'd downed before the party even started. The project, however, had been sufficiently extravagant and pointless enough that Fang couldn't forget it, even if she tried.

"Yeah. I s'pose I remember you. When's that ridiculous waste of gil gonna-"

There was a sharp jab in Fang's ribs as Vanille surreptitiously elbowed her. Oh, right. Fang had promised she'd be a good girl tonight, hadn't she? She wished Vanille had never learned that puppy-eyed look that made it so easy to win arguments…

"- be finished?" Fang finished in a much lighter and friendlier tone, changing her remark from disparaging to questioning without a hitch. _When is that waste of gil going to be shut down _was what she'd really wanted to ask, though. She vaguely recalled a lot of ill-feeling towards the project. Restoring Taejin's Tower? Why in Etro's name would they even bother with that, when there were roads and shelters to be constructed? Sometimes, those Cocoon folk could be bloody ridiculous. But what else could she expect? Living in a viper's nest up in the sky, getting the fal'Cie to do everything for them…

Fang was only half-listening to the man as he brought her up to date on the project, her eyes scanning the room for familiarity in the sea of faces. She felt herself relax a little when she spotted the back of Snow's bandana-covered head, off in the furthermost corner of the room. Ah, there they were!

"'scuse me a moment. Nice talking with you, mate," Fang lied smoothly as she interrupted the usual spiel, ignoring the pointed look that Vanille shot her way. What, was she meant to stand here all night and just take the bullshit? She rolled her eyes, beginning to thread through the crowd towards her friends.

"Fang, you promised!" Vanille reprimanded her in a low voice, but the frown on her face didn't last long. "Guess you can't get a leopard to change her spots that fast, huh?"

"And you'd be wrong to even try," Fang finished the old Gran Pulse saying for her sister, finally letting herself smile along with Vanille. At least now she understood that Fang wasn't going to just buck up and take orders today, even if she'd promised to be on her best behaviour. There was only so much a poor woman could do, even if she was as incredibly dynamic and as fantastic as Fang thought she was.

They made their way through the throngs of people, until they finally reached Snow. Good thing the bloke was built tall and immovable, much like a stone pillar, or they might never have found the rag-tag group of ex-l'Cie. Snow looked up as Fang and Vanille approached the tightly-knit island of familiarity, a grin slowly spreading over his face. He might have been the biggest blockhead Fang had ever met in all of Gran Pulse _or _Cocoon, but he was a damn good mate.

"Yo, Fang! Thought you got shanghaied into playing host!" Snow laughed and grabbed something off the nearest table, lobbing it in her direction. Fang caught the dew-slicked bottle of beer easily, and gave him an appreciative look as she opened it and took a swig. The man knew how to treat a lady – or at least he knew how to stay on Fang's good side. Good times and free grog usually did the trick.

"Only 'til Vanille got the message that it was useless," Fang answered him with a quick wave of her hand, her gaze skimming over the group quickly. A few of Team NORA were standing around, boisterously joking among themselves. Most of the l'Cie that she'd travelled with a year ago were present, too. Thank the Lady of Luck, but she'd been afraid that they'd back out on her because of the crowds. Missing the chance to hanging out like the old days, in favour of socializing with her old clients? No thanks.

Sazh waved to Fang as she shoved her way past Snow, balancing a cooling slice of pizza in one hand and a soda in the other. Dajh sat at his feet, playing with an old chocobo toy rescued in the Oerba restoration process, seeming to be unaffected by the bustle of the party around him. He was a good kid, smart and outgoing. No wonder he was the apple of his father's eye, Fang mused as she took another mouthful of beer.

One of these days, though, she'd really have to talk to Sazh about the chocobo riding lessons she'd promised the kid for his next birthday.

"So how old are you this year? Or is that women's business?" Sazh interrupted her thoughts with a dry chuckle, gesturing to the many banners strewn up around the room with his pizza slice. Fang smirked back at him, getting the joke immediately. Every single banner was plastered with her age. Vanille had sure gone overboard with the decorations this year, but Fang supposed that her sister hadn't planned any major parties in over five hundred years. Vanille could have a little slack for it, but Fang would be damned if she wouldn't tease her about it later.

"You must be blind if you can't see all the posters plastered around the joint! Get your sight checked, old man!" she told him in an equally deadpan tone, before shaking her head in mock exasperation.

The short, blond Team NORA kid, who'd been talking to Serah, looked up in surprise. Maqui, was that his name? She watched him look at the banners again, watched the dawning realization in his eyes as he figured out that the number covering all over them was not a joke.

"Wait. Then you really _are…" _Maqui trailed off, now openly gaping at her.

Fang's grin widened at the reaction, and she crossed her arms over her chest in a show of arrogance. "Yep. As of today, I'm officially five hundred and twenty-three years old and counting. Had to get these banners custom-made too, since you Cocoon folk can't seem to imagine anyone living past the age of one hundred."

The obligatory jab at Cocoon was met with the usual rolling of eyes, though Maqui still looked daunted by her declared age. Well, Fang couldn't complain, because that's exactly the sort of reaction she wanted when she deliberately added the extra five centuries and two years of crystal stasis to her age. She remembered how the clerk's eyes had bulged at the number, and chuckled.

Sazh ran a hand through his afro. It was still strange to see the older man without the choco-chick in his hair, but these days Hina was a little too large for that. By the time Fang and Vanille had emerged from crystal stasis once more, an entire year had passed since the Orphan Incident and the bird was up to Fang's knee and growing faster than a weed. Etro, but how things had changed since that day in Orphan's Cradle…

Sazh smiled, as if sensing her wistful thoughts. Even after the years had passed and they were no longer bound by a Focus, Sazh always found himself playing the role of the father in the group.

"Ain't heard of many l'Cie who keep willing themselves back from crystal stasis. You're unique, I'll give you that one," he said, taking a bite of his cold pizza.

"And don't you ever forget it," Fang told him with a smirk, scanning the group again. Gadot and Lebreau – that woman was a bitchin' bartender, and she held a fond place in Fang's heart for that – were teasing Snow about something, and Serah seemed to be taking their side on the matter, much to Snow's dismay. That blond kid was still staring, and there was a taller, stringy-looking lad with silver hair standing beside him, burying his nose in his drink to stifle laughter.

She'd know that mop of silver hair anywhere.

"Hope?" She tilted her head, as if trying to place him. The kid – no longer really a kid, but sixteen now – met her eyes with an embarrassed look on his face.

"Uh, yes Fang?" he questioned, a little hesitantly. Good, he was learning to predict the unpredictable. Was Fang going to be polite, rough or bawdy today?

She looked him up and down with a critical eye, a slight smirk touching her lips. Hope had filled out a little, and the last Fang had heard, he was gunning for recruitment to the paramagic division in the Guardian Corps. It no longer seemed impossible, what with the rate he was sprouting now.

"How long's it been? Six months? Etro, but you've grown tall!" She paused then, letting her grin widen wickedly. "And here I was, thinking that your balls would never drop and you'd be a short kid forever."

Hope, who'd been starting to relax in the face of Fang's less embarrassing questions, slouched again. He looked a little put out with her as he growled, "…yeah, thanks Fang, you look great too."

Hey, not her fault the kid couldn't take a backhanded compliment like a man. Instead, he buried his nose in his cider, sipping it warily as his eyes darted about the crowded room for someone else. The pieces clicked – Hope was underage, and yet here he was, slurping grog alongside Team NORA. And the person who he was looking out for could only be-

"Stop worryin', kiddo. I won't tell her if you won't either."

Hope nodded shakily, letting her clap him hard on the shoulder as she glanced around the group for the last of their unlikely group of l'Cie.

"Speaking of Lightning, where _is _she? Didn't she say she was gonna be here, or was I just having a nightmare 'bout that?" There was no way that Lightning would have left the group to mix with the other party guests, not as notoriously unsociable as she was. That meant that there was only one possible conclusion, and Fang clicked her tongue in annoyance.

Serah looked over from where she was standing with a sulking Snow, a forced-looking smile on her face. Oh, Fang knew that look. She felt her stomach begin to sink. Serah was going to break some bad news, and she clearly wasn't happy about it.

"Uhm…" the youngest Farron started, looking a little pained already. "Lightning said she'd come by later. She said something about the Guardian Corps needing her to work late today, and she wasn't able to beg off…"

It sounded just like the weak excuse it _was. _Fang heaved a loud sigh at that, shaking her head and running her hands through her dark, wayward bangs.

_Bullshit the Guardian Corps need you to work tonight, _Fang thought in frustration, as she scanned the room again for the telltale flash of red, white and strawberry blonde._ You bitched about having to come to this thing, 'til Vanille got Serah to corner you. How bloody convenient for you that you have to __**work late**__._

She looked back at the circle of her closest friends, finally noticing that a number of them were staring at her. Vanille had looked away, biting her lower lip, and Serah seemed to be sharing a lot of Fang's annoyance with the wilful soldier. The rest? They just seemed to be waiting for a reaction, like a gaggle of slack-jawed lobos.

Resisting the urge to demand what they were looking at, Fang just muttered to her friends, "What a downer. This was gonna be the first time I've gotten to see you clowns all together again since we got back, and she goes and blows it with that damned attitude of hers."

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Serah tug on Snow's coat sleeve, now clearly fighting to stifle a grin as she met his eyes. His blue eyes widened as he caught her look, and suddenly he was grinning too, so hard that it nearly split his face in two.

"Worst. Birthday. Ever," the two said in complete unison, before bursting into gales of laughter and stumbling into each other's arms. Fang watched their antics with a raised eyebrow. Either both had spontaneously gone mad, or there was some joke she was missing. Surely there had to be a story behind _that _one, especially from the way Gadot and Lebreau were snickering too. As their laughter subsided, Serah looked to Fang.

"Sorry. You just reminded me of something else," Serah told her, her voice apologetic as she leaned further into Snow.

"Fun story, that one. In hindsight, of course. At the time it just made me wanna pound Light's face in for hurting Serah." Snow was still chuckling, wrapping his arm more securely about Serah's shoulders. His smile was fond and gentle – Serah was the only one who received such looks from the normally energetic and upbeat gang leader. If that wasn't love, then Fang wasn't sure _what _was.

"I'd say I'm in the mood for a little story," Fang mused aloud, nodding. If Lightning wasn't here for Fang to torture on a whim, then she'd just have to settle for an embarrassing story at Lightning's expense. Fair trade, really. She took another mouthful of beer as she motioned for Snow to start the story, or face dire consequences.

"It was around the time you and Vanille originally woke up in our time. A few days before, Serah had wandered into Anima's vestige. Instead of leaving her, like she _thought _I would-" Snow shot his wife a slightly reproachful look as she flushed with embarrassment. "-I asked her to marry me."

Though they'd heard this part of the story a few times before – the recording they'd watched of Gadot's drunken toast to the newlyweds at their reception was just _one_ of those times – Vanille still giggled and clapped her hands together. Fang watched her fondly – the girl was a hopeless romantic, but that was just Vanille for you.

"We planned to tell Lightning on her birthday," Serah added, still a little red in the face. "In hindsight, that was a really bad time to say it, but…"

"No buts, Serah, 'cause we had to tell her sometime. We kinda thought that telling her about the engagement would soften the blow a little, but it turned out that it made Light reject the whole l'Cie thing as a load of crap. She thought it was just an excuse to get married."

"'_You think I'm gonna buy that?_'" Serah added, in a fair-convincing imitation of Lightning's voice at her most irritated. Fang had to give her credit, because she'd really got the venomous sarcasm down, even if she couldn't emulate that cold stare. "_'Full points for originality'_."

"So she turns her back on us and she tells us…" Snow squinted for a moment, pretending to have trouble recalling it.

"_Worst birthday ever,_" Serah supplied helpfully, still using that clipped tone that so resembled Lightning's. She continued on in her natural voice. "Not what we really expected…"

Fang sniggered, taking another swallow of beer as she watched the rest of the group laugh at the snappiness in Serah's quote. That sounded just like the hardarse, all right. Serah goes to tell her sister something serious, and of course Lightning sees it as a smokescreen and a ploy. Fang rolled her eyes at the thought. She could swear that, sometimes, Lightning had the emotional intelligence of a runty behemoth.

And yet Lightning was the same woman who was training Hope to be the Guardian Corps' next big thing, out of the kindness of her heart. Fang had to envy the kid, sometimes. There just was something about him that struck the more compassionate chords in Lightning in a way nobody else could. Fang frowned, and quickly amended the thought. Except for maybe Serah, but Serah was always the exception to the rule with Lightning.

Fang's exclusion from that elite group was always a sore spot, and Fang took a large gulp of her drink.

Sazh chortled as he finished his pizza. "No wonder she never liked talking about her twenty first birthday, with a poor celebration like that. 'spose what happened afterwards only made matters worse."

Hope looked sheepish as he looked up from his drink. "…I think I've heard that story before. Back in Palumpolum."

"Well, _I_ think it's kind of cute. Don't you think so, Fang?" Vanille said loudly, giving Fang another meaningful elbow in the ribs. Fang scowled at her sister, rubbing the sore spot. Etro, but if Vanille kept this up, Fang would have a bloody bruise by the morning. She caught Vanille's bright green eyes as they cut towards her. It was a look that said, _You can't fool __**me**__, Fang_.

_That devious girl knows, _Fang realized as Vanille quickly turned back to talk to Sazh and Dajh. _I swear to Lady Luck, if she blurts it, I am going to tan her pretty little hide… Still. Some friend Light is, if she's not even going to bother turning up to this party. _

* * *

The party wore on slowly, and Fang had once again been roped into helping Vanille drift about, chatting to various guests as music began to roar through strategically-placed loudspeakers. It wasn't because Fang had suddenly had herself a change of heart, but because _somebody _had to prop her giggly sister up or she'd fall flat on her face.

Where _had_ Vanille gotten that case of bubbly white wine from? Fang swore she'd strangle the guy who had seen fit to give Vanille endless refills, as she grabbed the back of Vanille's new dress to keep her from toppling into the wall with a tipsy-sounding titter.

Not that Fang could really throw the stones, given that she'd drunk enough to knock a behemoth off its feet – Snow's fault, really. He _knew_ she couldn't say no to a challenge like that, and she'd only stopped the shots game they'd created when Fang noticed that Vanille was falling all over the other guests. She snorted to herself. And like hell Serah was the stabilizing influence, the bloody girl was egging them on! Lightning would have had a bloody heart attack if she'd been there.

_The hell to you, Lightning. You're missing a hell of a party, all because you're too bloody stiff to bloody have a little fun. Bet you're sitting in your little Guardian Corps barracks, in your cold bunk, thinking about how much fun we're having without you._

Yes, it was a little harsh, but it honestly made Fang feel a tad better about the broken promise.

A cheer rose up from where a few tables had been pushed aside to create a makeshift dance floor. Fang glanced over, and smirked as she saw the back of Snow's head bobbing up and down. He and Serah were dancing up a storm over there, surrounded by Snow's groupies and a few of the other guests who'd thrown their lot in with the group of ex-l'Cie.

Two years married, and Snow and Serah were still going strong. She was actually kinda sorry she and Vanille had missed the wedding – apparently Serah had gotten her sister to dress up for the occasion. Reports were that there had been threats, tears and blackmail involved in achieving that result, not to mention a black dress. No photos had survived to mark the occasion, though. _That_ was disappointing.

The soldier was as elusive as all heck when she wanted to be, Fang mused vaguely as Vanille dragged her across the function room to talk with Hope's single father.

Much like right now.

* * *

Most of the more sedate guests had left already, by the time Vanille had been allowed Fang to sit down in a chair in the corner and just _relax_. Fang wasn't gonna admit that her head was swimming from all the booze she'd had. She mentally scratched that quickly. More likely it was 'cause she hadn't celebrated a birthday in five hundred and two years. Birthdays were harder work than she remembered.

There were still a good twenty people left though, swarming over on the dance floor. Sazh and Dajh had long since gone home – apparently the tyke had a play-date tomorrow or something, Fang really couldn't be stuffed remembering the details right now – and Lebreau and Gadot had floated back to their new bar by Oerba's beach. Fang wasn't sure what was going on with them, only from the endless flirting, there had to be _something. _

Oh Etro, she'd really had way too much to drink if she was gossiping in her head, Fang realized with a mental groan as she scanned the room for the hundredth time that night. Just a handful of the guests, Vanille drunkenly flirting with the bartender they'd hired for the occasion, that scruffy blond kid from Team NORA standing off to the side, Hope's dad…

At some point in the festivities, Serah and Snow had headed home. Fang grinned. Apparently all that dancing had gotten them all heated up, and Fang didn't doubt that when she went to hang out with Snow the next day, he'd be more than a little scratched up. Girl was a wildcat, from what Snow'd told her over drinks.

Fang sighed. Still no Lightning, but at this point, Fang sure didn't hold the hope that she'd be showing up fashionably late. Fang grabbed another bottle of beer from the table. Ugh. It was warm now, but that wasn't enough to deter her as she downed a good amount of the golden liquid.

The table jostled as someone else sat down at it, and Fang cracked an eye open. Hope had apparently decided to join her. Funny, he didn't look nearly so worse for wear as the rest of her guests were. Maybe he'd been nursing the same drink all night, Fang thought with an unsteady smirk.

"Don't you think you've had enough for tonight?" he asked in a low voice, his eyebrow raised as she gulped down the last of that bottle. Kid really knew how to channel his mentor, because Lightning would have had that _exact _expression on her face if she could see Fang now. Etro-damned Hope, lucky as he was to be spendin' so much time with Lightning… Maybe Fang really ought to join the Corps now, if that was how much time and attention Lightning gave to potential recruits. Yes, Fang was being childish now, but it was _her_ party and she'd pout if she wanted to.

"Fortitude of an adamantoise, kid. I can handle 't," Fang told him lazily, leaning back in the chair and stifling a hiccough with the back of her hand. She tossed the empty bottle to the table, where it crashed against the bowl of food still left on there. Was it just her, or did Hope suddenly have three sets of eyes? Oh, wait. The beer.

Hope snorted in amusement, looking entirely unconvinced by Fang's boasting. "Looks more like the beer is handling _you_."

Fang looked him up and down with an appreciative grin, as she reached for a handful of leftover food. "Etro, those balls really _have _dropped."

He made a pained face at her, leaning over to grab the last bottle of beer on the table before Fang could snatch it away from him. Hope opened it with a twist, grinning at her as she scowled. Well, she supposed she _did _deserve that, for all the backhanded insults she'd been giving him all evening. Least the kid had a working sense of humour, and wasn't afraid to smile once in a while.

They sat in silence for a few moments, listening to the deep thumping of the latest music track.

"…you're waiting for Light, aren't you?" he asked softly, so quiet that Fang almost didn't catch it over the music. She _tsked_ in annoyance. Was she that obvious to everyone?

"Nah, don' care for th' stuck up bitch anyhow," Fang lied, grinning. She didn't expect anyone to really understand the on-off attraction she thought she had with Light, and it was easier to just play it dumb. She sure as hell wasn't in the mood for logical, rational thinking when she had enough beer in her to _kill_ a behemoth now. "Maybe I think it ended up bein' a more awesome party, withou' her rainin' on everyone's parade."

Hah. That was a good one, Fang noted with a drunken snort. Lightning, storm, _rain_…

"You can be honest, you know?" Hope said, ignoring the lame joke. "Light's been teaching me body language. You wanted her here, right?"

_Oh. That would have t'be the funniest thing I've heard all night. _

"Body language?" Fang exclaimed, slamming an open palm against the bottle-strewn surface of the unsteady table, loudly enough to make Hope jump a little. "Maybe Lightning oughta practice what she preaches f'once and pay a li'l attention what goes on aroun' her."

_Maybe pay attention when 'm bendin' over backwards to show that 'm bloody interested. _

Hope toyed with the beer bottle, not meeting Fangs eyes as he muttered, "…maybe she does."

Fang tilted her head. "Is that right?"

A light flush spread across his cheeks then, and suddenly he was looking everywhere in the room _except _for at Fang. He took a long gulp of beer, and shuddered at the taste. "Oh, just something I heard her talking with her boss Amodar about. I think she really did want to come, but…"

"_But_ she didn't, so there ain't really nothin' for it." Fang knew her voice was flat now, but she really didn't care. Damn Lightning. She'd actually been looking forwards to seeing the soldier, and then Lightning had to go all… soldiery on her. Fang frowned at her own lack of coherence.

'_Fortitude of an adamantoise', eh?_ The more rational part of her brain mocked her, but the voice was quickly silenced by the white static of drunkenness.

Hope sighed, running a frustrated hand through his silver mop of hair. "Just… think about it, okay? Maybe she does pick up on it. Maybe she's just getting you back for all the teasing you do."

"Bullshit. Lightning wouldn' know a joke ev'n if it bit 'er on the arse," Fang said, waving the idea away with an airy gesture. It was the truth, after all.

The kid had the audacity to just roll his eyes at her. Fang had to appreciate the honesty, but he was getting to be a cheeky brat. She wasn't sure if it was Lightning, Snow or Maqui who'd had the biggest influence there.

"Whatever," he growled, but there was a smile in his green eyes. "Guess the great Oerba Yun Fang is too awesome to take advice."

"'_specially_ from two-bit punks who got big ideas about joinin' the military." Fang grinned at him, and he blushed again. Etro, he was nearly as easy a target as Lightning was.

"Keep in mind what I said, though," Hope told her. Or, rather, he told the beer bottle in his hands because he wasn't willing to look her in the eye anymore. "But I'm sure Light'll make it. She promised, right?"

"I wouldn' hold m'breath, kiddo."

He smiled, placing the barely touched bottle of beer back on the table. "By the way, that beer tastes _awful. _Did you get it out of the Oerban sewer, or is it just your bad taste speaking for itself again?"

As Hope climbed to his feet to talk to the blond Team NORA machinist that was hogging the rest of the leftover food, Fang suddenly realized that this was something new entirely. It was the first time Hope had ever actually sat down to talk with her, _willingly, _when there wasn't a life or death situation going on. Huh. She leaned back, swiping up his unfinished drink. Sometimes things did change.

* * *

The Oerban function room was empty now, and a quick look at the watch on her wrist – useful Cocoon contraption, really – told Fang that it was _way _too late for even hard-headed idiots like her to be still up and about. The party was over, and while slurping on a lukewarm mug of coffee, she was making half-hearted attempts at getting some of the place cleaned up. Vanille would bloody kill her when she woke up in the morning and saw the state of the place, so an extra hour spent taking out the garbage would mean two less hours of lecturing.

Speaking of Vanille, about an hour ago Fang had had to lug her home to put her in her bed. She'd passed out in the corner, of all the ridiculous things. If Vanille thought _she_ was the only one who got to give lectures, well, she had another bloody thing coming. Did responsible use of alcohol not ring any bells? She hiccoughed, swallowing the rest of the coffee and scooping up an armload of empty bottles.

Awful as it tasted right now, the coffee really helped her to see straight, even if she was still stumbling over obstacles that weren't actually _there. _

Fang cursed loudly as the armload of bottles slipped loose, crashing to the floor and rolling all about the room. Fang kicked one of the bottles away with a savage snarl. This was useless. She was going to just go home to sleep off the hangover she _knew _was coming and forget about this mess for a while, Vanille's lectures be damned! As Fang knelt to grab the few bottles within her reach, she felt a cool breeze touch the back of her neck, stir her wild hair.

"Well, you seem cheerful tonight," a cool voice observed as footsteps sounded on the polished wooden floors, seeming slow and uneven. Surprised, Fang froze for just an instant, before gathering her wits about her. She turned sharply to the speaker – strawberry blonde hair, red cape, white jacket, heavy boots and short skirt. She was either having a drunken hallucination or Lightning had _finally _arrived.

Fang felt a surge of irritation. Of course, that stubborn soldier had turned up a good hour after everyone went home. If she expected a pat on the back for that...

"Oh, hey there stranger. Don' think I know you, since everyone I knew was at that birthday party that jus' ended," Fang said with a slight growl. She looked Lightning up and down dismissively, not really seeing, before turning away to grab uselessly at the bottles a bit. Let her have a taste of her own damn medicine for a change. Behind her, she heard Lightning exhale sharply. Instead of the snappy retort that Fang had been expecting, she got an almost-apology, even if Lightning's voice was still a little tense.

"…I deserved that one."

At Lightning's reluctant admission of guilt, Fang looked over her shoulder. Hey, the soldier actually looked apologetic for once. Fang rested a hand on her hip, sketching a rough imitation of Lightning's usual stance, letting her voice cool. Etro, she must be drunk if she was actually attempting this. "Yep, y'do. Just had me the _worst birthday ever_."

Lightning _twitched_. There was no other description for it. Fang raised an eyebrow at the reaction. So the reminder had _that _bad of an effect on the soldier? Fang carefully filed that information away for later use.

The silence stretched, and Lightning's voice was tight when she finally spoke. "Serah and Snow have been telling that story again."

Fang hid a smile at the soldier's obvious annoyance and guilt. Etro, but she couldn't stay angry with Lightning these days. Not even over a fiasco like tonight's party. She sure as hell wasn't going to let on, though. "You kinda deserved _that _too. Oath-breakers don't get t'be choosy about what embarrassing stories their little sisters tell about 'em."

That comment was met with dead silence, and Lightning fixed her eyes to the floor and gave it her usual scowl. Fang frowned at the uncomfortable silence. Had she actually needled Lightning too badly this time? Finally, Lightning walked across the function room, grabbed the nearest chair and sat awkwardly on it. Her movements were stiff and careful, lacking all of her usual grace and surety of movement. It flew against everything that Fang associated with _Lightning. _

Fang gave the soldier a closer observation this time. The way she was sitting, the tense set to her shoulders. Was it just the light, or were there scratches and bruises on Lightning's visible skin? The tightness in Lightning's voice suddenly registered as something else entirely. Not annoyance, but pain. As much as the stubborn woman would allow, anyway.

Fang flopped herself in the chair across from Lightning, and made her tone purposefully cheerful as she surreptitiously took in the damage. "Light? You alright?"

Lightning seemed unfazed by Fang's obviously unsubtle scrutiny, pinning the huntress with a blue gaze that felt just as intense as normal, yet held none of the usual coldness or distance. The combination – a look normally reserved for Serah or Hope – almost made Fang forget how her throat worked. Almost.

"Drove the bike off a cliff while chasing down a few rogue lobos. Broke my ribs doing it, and totalled the bike," the soldier told her in a dry voice, seeming more concerned with the loss of the custom bike than… Fang froze, staring at Lightning openly. Did she just hear what she _thought _she heard?

"Wait, then y'_were_ working? It wasn't just some awful excuse not to come?"

Lightning nodded, seeming vaguely amused by Fang's reaction. "Yes. Were I not the last resort, I would have said no. But then Amodar said…" she trailed off for a moment, her blue eyes going distant before they snapped back to Fang's. "But in any case, I was rushing. Careless. Wanted to get everything over with so I could make it to Oerba from the Taejin base in time."

The pieces clicked, and Fang just gaped at Lightning.

"…y'fell off Taejin's _cliff_? The Palisades? How'd they manage to scrape ya off the rocks and get you here so bloody fast then?"

_And how the hell can you sit there, relating this bullshit so calmly? You fell off a fucking cliff and lived, so now you've decided to swing by a party because clearly you haven't done enough crazy shit in the space of twenty-four hours to fill your insanity quota? Oh Etro, she's finally snapped and gone mad._

Oblivious to Fang's thoughts, Lightning continued her explanation with a shrug. "One benefit to having been a l'Cie is the resilience. Only broke my ribs because I landed badly. Lately, Hope and I had been assisting with some of the paramagic division development. Lucky for me, they can now nearly replicate the Cura spell." Lightning's slight smirk faded into an ill-looking grimace. "Just makes you sick for a couple of hours."

_So she's just a little bruised up. _Fang felt a wave of relief crash over her. _Etro, but you're a worry. Hang on. Didn't she say before that she was rushing because of…_

"But. You rushed and wiped y'self out, just for me? That's…" Fang trailed off, shaking her head in disbelief.

"Crazy." Lightning's smile was a little rueful as she finished off Fang's comment for her. Was it just Fang's imagination, or were those cold barriers in her eyes starting to come back?

"Well, that too, but I was rather thinkin' more along the lines of 'sweet'. But hey, s'your call," the huntress said, moving swiftly to head those barriers off. It wasn't every day that Lightning let whatever crazy bullshit going on in her head actually _show. _No way in blue hell was Fang going to let this just pass her by without taking advantage of it.

"_But,_" Fang told her with a false air of seriousness as she leaned forwards, shortening the distance between them. She hid a grin as Lightning twitched at the sudden invasion of personal space. It was too much fun to fluster her. "Don't y'think that fallin' off a cliff excuses y'poor behaviour, soldier, since you shoulda called. The present better be damn good t'get you back into my good graces again."

Of course, Fang had already forgiven her. She just wanted Lightning to understand that pissing Oerba Yun Fang off was a bad move.

Lightning looked aside, even having the grace to look a little embarrassed. "…I didn't have time to go by my place to get the present. I'm…" There was a long pause. Etro, getting any sort of apology from this woman was like pulling teeth!

"What was that?" Fang kept her voice low, leaning forwards a little more as if struggling to hear Lightning's words. It was an effort to keep the grin off her face now.

Lightning's blue eyes snapped up, and the look in her eyes was more than a tad irritated with Fang's persistence. "I'm sorry."

"Oh, s'that right? Sorry?" Fang asked, as Lightning's eyes began to narrow. Before Lightning could snap back with some nasty retort, Fang caught her eyes with an earnestness that she didn't often reveal to anyone, let alone her favourite target.

"Y'know…" Fang trailed off as Lightning frowned at her, clearly thrown off-balance by the sincerity in her gaze. Let her frown, Fang had something serious to say. "I would've overlooked the birthday present thing if you'd actually been here. I've… kinda missed havin' y'round."

There. She said it, and Lightning could take it however she wanted.

Her statement was met with a frightening wall silence. Fang tried to catch Lightning's eyes again, but the soldier had begun to focus determinedly on the floor to Fang's left. Apparently she'd given the strawberry blonde a great deal to think about, because her face was now entirely closed off to Fang. Unreadable. Etro, if those eyes got any colder, they'd turn to bloody ice, Fang realized with a sinking stomach.

Maybe she'd been wrong about Lightning, that there hadn't been any attraction between them at all. Or if there had, then maybe Lightning would just run from it. Fang mentally groaned. Maker, she could stand being forever relegated to friend, but to lose Lightning's friendship entirely? Fang began to realize that maybe she'd done the wrong thing by implying what she'd felt. Yet another foot-in-mouth moment for Oerba Yun Fang.

"Can I make it up to you?" Lightning's voice was a little unsteady when she finally broke the silence. Fang watched, completely stunned and frozen in place, as Lightning – _Lightning _– leaned forwards and brushed her lips against Fang's cheek. The touch was so light that Fang could have mistaken it for a breath of wind, were it not for the overwhelming scent of roses, the warmth of Lightning's breath on her cheek.

Just as suddenly, Lightning was gone, leaning back in her chair with a grimace, resting her hand against her bruised ribs cautiously. Fang blinked, trying to make sense of it all.

_Etro, I must be drunker than I thought, because I coulda sworn that Lightning just… that she was… Wait, that actually __**happened**__. _

Fang let a huge grin spread across her face. So she hadn't blown it, after all! All that hoping, hunting and thwarted flirtation, and Lightning had finally taken a _hint_. She could barely believe her luck. A fleeting glance towards the soldier told Fang that there was a smirk on Lightning's lips now. Fang frowned at that. A smirk? Wait a moment…

Hope's dismissed advice ghosted back to her suddenly, and Fang's mind screeched to a halt as it all fell into place.

_No bloody way. Playing dumb? You have gotta be kiddin' with me. That's gotta be the best – and __**worst**__ – prank that anyone's ever played me with,_ Fang realized with, feeling a strange mixture of pride and dismay as she watched Lightning carefully rise from the rickety chair. Fang opened her mouth to tell the soldier to sit the hell back down for a bit, but Lightning raised a hand to stall the words even as they formed in her mouth.

"Can't stay," Lightning said quietly over her shoulder, as she turned towards the door. "Got an assignment over at the Steppe in the morning. Something about a mob of goblins causing havoc with the road crews…" She made a sound in her throat that sounded one part irritation, one part amusement. "Pathetic, really."

_Don't let her walk out of here, just like that, _the more sober – or was it the drunker? – part of Fang's mind reprimanded her harshly. Well, it was right. She couldn't let Lightning go, not without offering something in return for her unexpected 'present'.

"…y'need a hand with it?" The words were out of her mouth before she stopped to consider what she was _saying. _As soon as they were out, Fang made a face. Etro, why in the name of the fal'Cie was she offering _that_? By morning she knew she'd have the hangover from hell, and from the surprised look on Lightning's face, the soldier knew it too.

Fang moved quickly to cover up her consternation with a bit of false bravado, and she slammed her fist into her palm, and then cracked the knuckles of said hand. "Been a while since I taught 'em goblins who the boss aroun' here is."

Was that woman fighting a smile just then? Bloody Lightning. Fang put her sudden inability to fool Lightning down to the fact that Fang was still more than a little drunk. Being sober was an unfair advantage.

The smirk was audible in her voice as Lightning turned towards the door again. "If you think you can get up, you're welcome to meet me at the Steppe barracks. Crack of dawn."

_Oh Etro,_Fang mentally groaned._ Y'doing this jus' to torture me. I could swear I caught a li'l vicious glee in y'voice, Light. _

"Are y'doubting my strength of will?" Fang demanded, crossing her arms over her chest and trying to imitate Lightning's usual scowl.

"I'm doubting your ability to get up at daybreak – which is around three hours from now, just so you know – after having a 'good night out'." Damn, the woman was even using quote-fingers. That kinda stung, Fang realized with annoyance, and Light probably knew it. There was really only one thing for it.

"Oh, it is _on."_ Never let it be said that Fang wasn't up for a challenge, even one as utterly ridiculous as this one. Three _hours _from now, after a very big night of drinking, at the bloody Steppe, clearing out goblins…

Maybe Fang just liked the odd way her heart thumped when she was around Lightning, maybe she'd just gone crazy. But the things she did for the sake of chasing down this ever-elusive soldier surprised even _her_.

"We'll see about that." Lightning's voice was completely deadpan as she strode through the door, and beyond, to where a Guardian Corps hover vehicle waited outside. Fang watched her go, watched the machine take off with a roar and listened to the engine fade into silence, before finally letting herself smile.

Maybe it wasn't the best birthday ever. Fang slowly brushed a hand against her cheek, her fingers lingering on the spot where she'd received that ghost of a kiss from Lightning. But one thing was for sure, it sure as hell wasn't the _worst _birthday she'd ever had_, _either.

* * *

This had a few different endings. I felt that Fang drifting out of a crystal dream for a bit was a little bit of a downer, and that smut didn't ring true to Light and Fang's characterization in this one. But Light finally gets to troll back. Tried my hand at a little more serious Fang this time, as well as a less repressed Lightning. I do try to mix my interpretations up, simply because there are so many different and valid ways to write these two. Check my profile for the sequel to this fic, **Goblins, Roadworks, and Odd Sort-of Dates**.


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